Great. I’m one of those people that started a blog, and then
never wrote another entry. Sigh. Sorry peeps. So, a lot has happened (cliché!).
Blah blah blah, I just got sooooo
busy in my silly Texan-in-a-big-city ways, that I didn’t write anything. Well,
that’s not true. Sometimes, I’m too self-conscious for my own good, so I didn’t
actually post anything that I wrote.
The truth is, I’ve had a hard time finding my way lately,
you know, my Zen, the sweet spot, my happy place, hakuna matata, what have you.
In this huge city full of millions of people, at times, I tend to feel a little
bit…small. In the morning, I rush out the door, herd into a smelly subway car
full of other complainers who have way cooler clothes to get to work. At lunch,
I avoid going out because then it becomes the mad dash of avoiding the tourists
taking pictures of the wrong “famous
Wall Street flag”. Then, at 5:30 pm, I shove my way back into the sardine can,
and ride home to quickly get back to my binge-watching of Orange is the New Black on my couch.
That’s right. I’ve become cynical. It took a little over a
year of being here, but a few weeks ago, I actually body-checked someone out of
my way and thought, “ugh, people suck”. Hey, at least I haven’t taken up
smoking! But seriously, what happened? I guess, for me, New York is a hard pill
to swallow at times. When I got here, I didn’t have the toughest skin. It’s
never been my personality. Granted, I’ve learned a lot about not giving a shit about what other people think, but
sometimes, the little timid girl is back sitting on my shoulder, telling me to
take a nap because the big city is scary. When you are constantly stimulated by
movement, people, breathing, smells, sounds, lights, taxis, dogs, trendy
restaurants and outrageously priced everything, it gets to you. Sometimes, I become overwhelmed with the need to run around and not see one other person.
It’s funny though, and I think I’ve even mentioned this in
another blog, as soon as this place gets you down, it does something to cheer
you up. It’s always when the seasons change, I think. Right now, for example,
my windows are open, there’s a crisp breeze blowing through my apartment that I
adore, and I’m listening to my landlord and her lady friends discuss how to
make “the best fuckin’ meatbawls ya’ eva’ had!” (Seriously. I must install a
hidden recording device.) Another weekend is ahead of me full of trying to
avoid overpriced cocktails (never successful) and complaining to my friends
about the mile walk home with groceries from Trader Joe’s (it’s fine because
Zack carries it all anyway), but they know, and I know, we love it here.
Thanks NYC <3. ‘Til next time!
